Miss Lenna's Kink Talk: Let's talk about "safe, sane, and consensual" and methodology in the kink space!

Over the past couple of days, I have seen a lot of posts cobble together some kink terminology that may not be exactly appropriate for the situation they are describing. So today I want to talk about kink methodology, why it's important to know differences in it, and explore the options of when kink toes the line of safety or "sanity"!

Why is kink methodology so important?

If you've even dipped your toe into the world of kink, you may have come across the evergreen term "safe, sane, and consensual", or SSC for short. This is a fast and easy way to frame kink for people who are exploring the lifestyle; a nearly self-explanatory set of guidelines to follow when pursuing just about any kink or fetish out there. The term was first seen in the '80s by a popular gay BDSM non-profit activist group, and shortly after found its footing in activist marches everywhere, spreading the colloquialism far and wide.

While this is the methodology that is most commonly used and taught, many kinksters do not necessarily identify with this exact bundle of terms. This is especially the case for those who participate in edge play - not just play with knives or edged implements like it may sound, but a bucket term for play that may sometimes exist on the fringes of safety and security in the kink community. Let's go into what some of those players (like me) use for terms and why!

When "safe" or "sane" may not be enough

Two of the most common alternative methods of practicing kink also have pretty convenient acronyms, and while they emphasize different individual minutiae, they both serve to pick up where SSC "leaves off" when discussing styles of play. They are:

RACK - Risk Aware Consensual Kink, and

PRICK - Personal Responsibility Informed Consensual Kink.

Both of these terms of course still have consent at the cornerstone of their ethos, as consent is the absolute nexus around which all healthy kink activity is based! These alternate terms modify some of the other definitions, though: For one, for edge players, the concept of what is "sane" can frankly be relative or even reductive. Extreme kinks exist and can toe this line but are still valid as long as they are practiced under extreme awareness of the potential tolls, whether they are physical, mental, emotional, metaphysical, or all of the above.

Another big deal for edge play is that sometimes our kink is not inherently safe, and the dialogue of SSC simply is not there by default - though the conversations should ALWAYS happen regardless - to support important discussions about extreme risk, emergency situations and measures, and our responsibilities to ourselves and to each other when executing them.

So is SSC "wrong"? Why is this a big deal?

First and foremost: There is not and will never be an issue with remaining a kinkster who lives by the "SSC" model as long as that translates to your actions honestly and appropriately. Anyone who may try to tell you that "real" kinksters are only RACK/PRICK players are dangerously wrong! The language does not exist to gatekeep or provide a "one true way" to the community, but instead to serve two purposes: to properly convey the risks of certain kinky actions, and to make things more apparent and visible once conversations and especially negotiations begin.

RACK/PRICK descriptors have challenged the inherent safety of stereotypically "traditional" kinky actions for a long time and allowed us to make more honest dialogue around them. For example, choking is such a common trope in media that badly portrays BDSM, but even when performed lightly, can we really call it inherently safe? It of course can be extremely dangerous if not performed properly! (I wrote a guide on the details of choking here, if you're interested!)

And then lastly, while all facets of negotiations should still be performed, it can be easy to go into a situation going "by the way, I am generally a RACK player" and for that to establish a baseline for a conversation. It provides a framework of language for how you view your kink, your relation to it tangibly and intangibly, and how you mesh that with others. The world of kink is so freeing and amazing if we let it be, but in order to truly let go, we need to know how first.

Have anything to add? Feel free to let me know your own thoughts too!

Love and blood,

-L 💛🩸